Thursday, November 15, 2007

SnackWatch Issue 1 Vol. 3

So, where was I...?

SnackWatch is back and more mediocre than ever! Its been a while, and there have been lots of new and exciting changes in Snack land, so let's get this show on the road.

NEW ZONES!
First and foremost the biggest change to our beloved snack machine has been the sky rocketing prices. Long gone are the days where two quarters and a dream could buy you a tasty snack and an excuse to walk away from your desk.
The prices have been re-zoned my friends so you better get familiar with it...and take out a loan.

¢55 cent zone:
Various chips, pretzels ect.
This is good for those on an intern's or entry level salary, venturing to any higher zones could force you to wear dirty underwear due to lack of laundry quarters. This zone is also a safe haven for pretzel lovers. There are now 5 different variations of pretzels in the snack machine, varying from classic, to stick, nugget, and even jumbo form. Those pretzel engineers in Germany have WAY too much time on their hands.

¢80/¢85 cent zones:
Candy, "Healthy" snacks, Combos
Mostly managers and embezzlers frequent this zone. If you happen to be cursed with a sweet tooth, you better start putting in some overtime. The price jump from ¢75 to ¢80/¢85 has hit all the chocolate fiends pretty hard. No wonder there have been several beatings reported in and around the snack machine area lately. If you're considering skipping lunch, you might find something to hold you over until dinner here.

$1.00/$1.25 zone:
Microwavable items, large baked goods, gourmet chips, Random
If you're not the CEO of the company, your eyes will start burning should you dare to look at any of these pricey snacks. Most days I don't even spend $1.25 on lunch, let alone a snack, but that's the beauty of this otherwise bankrupting zone...you can actually purchase lunch worthy food here! $1.25 can transport you back to your college freshman days...Rhamen noodles anyone? How about some Chef Boyardee? All I need is a black light and lava lamp at my desk and I'm set.

SNACKWATCH SNACK PICK OF THE WEEK
With all the shake-ups going on in the Snack world, its been hard to find a new favorite. These days snacks come and go like Britney Spears meltdowns. Long gone are the days of White Cheddar Cheeze-Its. As of late I've come to rely on something saltier and greasier to get me through that pre-lunch/post-breakfast purgatory...Cape Cod chips! Some say 11AM is too early to eat greasy chips...I say, screw that, I'm hungry!!!

SNACKWATCH CHALLENGE
In honor of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, leave a comment telling me what snack you are most thankful for and why. The best 5 responses will win a ¢50 SnackWatch gift certificate to the snack machine of your choice...And yes, I know the cheapest snacks in the machine are ¢55 now...but who am I, Bill Gates??

To subscribe or unsubscribe to this dumb-ass news letter, send an email to ddacosta1@gmail.com

3 comments:

nic319 said...

I am most thankful for Combos. Where else can you satisfy your salty tastebuds along with your love for cheese.

Korndog said...

I am most thankful for ever having had the opportunity to chose from such an array of snacks as those found on the 27th Floor of State Street. A comparable selection -- at any price -- is not to be found when you work at home.

Saladeen said...

NOW YOU DO SNACK WATCH!!!!