Monday, December 31, 2007

Baby Born In a McDonalds Toilet

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Vancouver, Washington
A McDonalds employee gave birth to a six pound baby boy while working the night shift at a Vancouver McDonalds last week.
The woman ran into the bathroom after complaining of feeling ill. According to a co-worker, she gave birth while in the toilet stall. The new mother said she hadn't even known she was pregnant.

This kid is bound to have a pretty good life, I mean, things can only get better after being born in a McDonalds toilet.

Click here for the video

Only 2 Years Left !!!

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With 2008 upon us and 2010 around the corner, There is cause for concern. I'm not talking about Dooms Day predictions, terrorist attacks or Global Warming. My major concern is for the companies that produce novelty New Year's Glasses.

The two zeros in the middle of the year 2000 gave companies the perfect opportunity to convert the year into a hilarious accessory. For the last 8 years we've seen people wearing these glasses with reckless abandon, showing no concern that the end was so near. Now that 2010 is just 2 years away, I say wear your stupid New Years glasses, wear them proudly! Before you know it, the number 1 will force Novelty New Years Glasses Manufacturers(take a breath) out of business....forever!!!...until the year 2999.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Hey Strongman, Make Yourself Useful

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I came across one of those "World's Strongest Man" competitions on ESPN 2 last night. Although the feats of strength performed were impressive, I couldn't help but wonder why the competitors don't put their superhuman strength towards a more useful purpose. I mean, carrying a 400 pound boulder is cool, but helping someone move a Grand Piano into their new house is cool AND useful. C'mon Magnus, use your head!

Weirdo Drawing Of The Week - Vince at Sea

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This is Vince, his mother calls him Vincent. Vince is a limo driver. He went to check out an Army/Navy store on his lunch break and picked up this bitchin' hat. Who's gonna tell him it looks ridiculous? Not me.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

What a steal!

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For those of you who still don't know what to get that special someone for Christmas, Pathmark has an excellent deal on "Leather" jackets...why not treat yourself to one too, you can't beat these prices!

Lost In Translation?

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This is some signage over the television series DVDs at BestBuy. Does the accent over the "o" really make a difference? I highly doubt a Spanish speaking person is not going to understand the difference between TELEVISION and TELEVISIO'N...aye dios mio!

Not So Tough Anymore

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There's something about holding a bunch of balloons that can take the toughness out of anyone. Below are more examples of some notorious tough guys holding balloons...they don't look so tough now.


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Friday, December 21, 2007

Sunday, December 16, 2007

AirMall, haven for the world's most useless products

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If you've ever been on an airplane there's a chance you've seen a magazine called AirMall. AirMall is filled with some of the world's most useless products. Pictured above is the NECKpro Traction Device. If there's any medical procedure I'd like to perform on myself, its treating my damaged vertibrae...so what if I paralyze myself, healthcare is expensive these days!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Weirdo Drawing Of The Week - Earl The Bowling Champ

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This is Earl. He lives in Tampa and is part of the local senior bowling league. His high score is a 253...or so he says.

Odd Infomercial

Friday, December 14, 2007

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year!

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There's only one sure sign that the Holidays are upon us...The 3 Flavor Popcorn Tin!!! I'm never convinced it's The Holiday Season until I see one. These 3 popcorn flavors are great individually, but when combined into one 5 gallon tin, they become a transcendant snack that blurs the time between Christmas and the end of January (That's usually how long it takes to finish one).

Though, I do feel bad sometimes. Most people play favorites with either the butter or cheese flavors. Meanwhile, the poor Caramel popcorn is left for last like that kid with the lazy eye in your 5th grade gym class.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Bonds has his day in court

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Barry Bonds appeared at a San Francisco federal court this past Friday. In his first appearance in court since he was indicted on Nov. 15, Bonds pleaded not guity to perjury and obstruction of justice charges stemming from the BALCO Steroids case. If convicted, Bonds could face up to 30 months in prison. Judging from the courtroom artist's rendering above, Barry should have no problem proving he didn't lie about doing steroids.

Friday, December 7, 2007

It's Friday!!!

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Every Friday FlyingRatNYC will post a "Crank It Up Homes" image. To participate, send your "It's Friday, Crank It Up Homes" JPEG (400 pixels wide Max) to ddacosta1@gmail.com

Weirdo Drawing Of The Week - Teenage Douche Bag

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This is Chad, you can find him in the food court of your local mall or working at an Abercrombe and Fitch . He enjoys wearing sunglasses in-doors and text messaging while in mid conversation.

SnackWatch Issue 2 Vol. 3

It's the most wonderful time of they year, and whether you're lighting the Menorah or plugging in the Christmas tree there's one thing that unifies us all...SNACKS!!!

We're all familiar with the Naughty vs. Nice method of gift giving during the holiday season. Well, if you have a tight budget like I do, Snacks are a great gift to give without breaking the bank. There are a few treacherous snacks in the vending machine for your naughty friends, and some perfectly pleasant snacks for your friends that have been nice.

SNACKS FOR NICE BOYS AND GIRLS:
If your buddies behaved themselves this year, these snacks will show them how much you appreaciate them.

Keebler's Soft Batch Cookies - ¢85
A perftect gift for the holidays, in fact, Santa is said to stock the snack machine in his toy factory with ONLY Soft batch cookies. Plus they come in a nice red package...so there's no need to gift wrap them!

Twix - ¢80
Twix are a great gift to give someone if you're hungy, because there are two in each package. Just give your friend a sad, hungry look as you hand them the Twix. Your thoughtfulness will obligate them to share with you.

Cheeze-Its - ¢55
I can't say enough good things about Cheeze-Its. The taste and cost effectivness of this snack are sure go over well. If someone was EXTRA nice this year, you can give them White Cheddar Cheeze-Its...its the gift worthy of a king. In fact, in some versions of the Bible, the Three wise men are said to have brought Gold, Frankensense, and Cheeze-Its to the Baby Jesus.


SNACKS FOR NAUGHTY BOYS AND GIRLS:
If your homeboys/girls were straight trippin' this year, here's what to get them.

Crunch N' Munch - ¢55
Now, you might say Crunch N' Much is too good for someone that's been naughty, and I'd usually agree with you. The Peanut/Caramel/PopCorn medley is a delicioius triple threat...but, most people fail to realize, snack machine Crunch N' Munch is notoriously cheap on Peanuts. The recipient of this gift will be so filled with disappointment, that your message will be lout and clear...."You sucked this year!"

Twix - 80¢
Yes, I know, I listed this as a "Nice" gift, but Twix can be a delicious double edged sword. If you give your friend a Twix, sans the afor mentioned "sad, hungry" look, they'll most likely eat both of them. This increases the chance of them having caramel strings unknowlingly hang off of their chin, leading them to look like a complete fool...NAUGHTY!!!

White Castle Burger - $1.50
From the frozen snacks machine, this is for that EXTRA naughty person in your life, be it your Boss, Co-Worker, or Parole Officer. The White Castle Burger is known as the gift that keeps giving...meaning, along with the Burger you should also give your friend Pepto Bismol and a pair of Depends.

SNACKWATCH CHALLENGE:
Complete the SnackWatch crossword challenge for a chance to win a $1.00 SnackWatch gift certificate to the vending machine of your choice. CLICK HERE to download the crossword.

Congratulations to Alicia Korney for winning last issue's SnackWatch Challenge.

To subscribe or unsubscribe to this dumb-ass newsletter, send an email to ddacosta1@gmail.com

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Flying the (Way too)Friendly Skies

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On a flight to Miami last week, I had the good fortune of getting an empty seat next to me. Well, that good fortune was erased when my row neighbor decided to use that empty seat as a foot rest...Naturally I had to take pictures while he was asleep.