Who Needs A Girlfriend If You Have A Grilled Cheese With Bacon?

Being a single guy in New York City can be tough sometimes. There's a prominent dating culture that surrounds you. With all the bars and restaurants lining the streets you can pretty much see a date going on at all times. To a person that's single, it can be quite disconcerting if you're not jumping into the flow of the dating river as well. The whole point of all this dating is to find that special someone that makes you feel awesome every time you see them. Well, I've found that feeling...it's been sitting under my nose the whole time too!

I realized this when I paid a visit to my neighborhood diner this Sunday. When my roomate's order of two eggs, over-easy with hash browns and toast was placed in front of her, she gushed, "I love this, its EXACTLY what I want!" I felt the same way when the waitress handed me my Grilled Cheese with bacon, tomato and fries. If I could find a girl to say that about, I'd be happy...but until then, Grilled Cheese and bacon it is.

Who Is This Guy?

On occasion I like to peruse the Google image data base for random characters. Meet Randy. Although he may look like the type of guy that would show up to your house with a 6 pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade and a box of condoms, you can't ever judge a book by it's cover.

Click here to find out more about Randy.

It's Friday!!!

Home Decor 101

When choosing a piece of artwork to decorate your home, there's no better place to look than New York City. Some may call it a mecca of modern art. People come from all over the world to marvel at our priceless charcoal drawings of 50 Cent. Maybe a tandem portrait of Dale Earnhardt Jr. and his late father is just the piece you've needed to class up that shed out yonder. If it's drama you're after, look no further than the "Naked African Couple Embracing" series. You can't miss with these modern master pieces, but act quick, there's only several thousand art dealers in Battery Park willing to part with these treasures. Cash only please.

72 Virgins...Not Always A Good Thing

It's a common belief that when an suicide bomber dies, he receives 72 virgins when he gets to heaven. Thats cool...if you're a dude, but what if your a female suicide bomber? Maybe this is why there aren't so many women lining up to become martyrs.

Click here for the full virgin experience

Happy Monday

Yabba-Dabba-Doin' It Up

With gas prices so high these days, everybody's trying to find a way to save money on transportation. Hybrid cars are all the rage, but sticker prices are still a little too high and mechanics have limited capabilities to service these cars. Little did we know that Fred Flintsone had the solution to the gas crisis years ago. Who needs gas when you have your feet?! All you have to do is get a couple of friends with heavily callused feet to tag along with you everywhere you go. You'll never have to pay for gas again!

It's Friday!!!

Baby Born With Extra Penis...On His BACK!!!

A baby boy with an extra penis on his back was born to a rural Chinese farmer this week. The father immediately rushed the baby to a near-by hospital to have the penis removed. Doctors removed the penis successfully and said the baby was recovering following the surgery.

I always say there are two sides to every coin. I think the doctors probably should have weighed these options before going through with the surgery.

Positive

Giving girls piggie back rides will be awesome

You can always tell whether he's coming or going

He could become the inventor of the new sexual position "96-ing"

Negative

He can't wear mesh tank tops to church

Giving himself a pat on the back might be considered lude and lascivious behavior

Everybody that sits behind him in class will know when he's thinking about last night's episode of "Baywatch"

Click here for the full story.

Yankees Pitcher Chein-Ming Wang Injured

The New York Yankees have an injured WANG. Apparently the injured WANG occurred while playing on a field with a bunch of sweaty men. It should take about 6 weeks for the WANG to get back to its healthy state. Until then, they'll have to find someone else to handle their balls.

Click here for full story